Thursday, June 11, 2009

Where I Ramble and May or May Not Have a Point.

We'll start this post with a picture of some pretty flowers. Because one of the many things I love about summer is having fresh flowers around the house. Rich and the girls went out to a friend's house yesterday and came home with these flowers for me. I have no idea what they are, but they make me happy.

We'll then move onto the rambling part of this post. I've been sort of mulling the seed of this post since we first told someone we were expecting a fourth child. Rich and I usually keep a pregnancy quiet for the first three months or so. With this pregnancy we each told a close friend here. I told Amy, because I had to explain why I was turning down her offers to go out for a girls' night out. Amy responded with, "Congratulations!" Rich told Pete, who has been one of his best friends since they were teenagers. Pete responded with, "Are you f**king serious?"

Over the last few months, I've noticed that when people discover I'm expecting number four, the responses seem to fall into either the "Congratulations" category or the "Are you f**king serious?" category. Rambling forward to last night. Rich and I went out to dinner, without children. After a lovely dinner, as we were heading out, Rich saw an acquaintance in the bar section of the restaurant. I was waiting by the exit, ready to leave. The acquaintance asked how Rich and the kids were doing, and Rich mentioned we were expecting number four. At which point, the woman seated with acquaintance, a complete stranger, says, "Don't you know what causes that?"

Now, a few points in the interest of fairness. First, Rich found it amusing and laughed. He was not offended at all. Secondly, she had had a few cocktails. I've discovered over the course of three and a half pregnancies a little information about people who have been drinking. It turns out that they are not nearly as witty or amusing as they think they are when you haven't been drinking. [I don't think this revelation applies to me when I've been drinking though. I'm pretty sure I'm every bit as pretty and amusing as I think I am. ] Thirdly, I'm a bit flush with hormones right now. I am willing to admit I might be a bit more sensitive than I would otherwise be. However, all those points aside, I found I was not amused. I was not amused at all.

So the summary of all this rambling, I guess, is this: When someone tells you they are expecting another family member, the appropriate response is ALWAYS, "Congratulations."

This has been a Gettysburg Family etiquette lesson. Next week we'll cover no elbows on the table or speaking with your mouth full. Please feel free to discuss amongst yourselves.

13 comments:

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

Darn straight.

And I am witty and HOT when I have been drinking. Very, very hot. It's evident to everyone around me.

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

Also, I become a FABULOUS Dancer.

speedymac77 said...

I admit - I was one of "those" - and didn't congratulate you - while I should have. I am deeply sorry!!!!

Would bonbons sooth everything over?
And - when do you find out the gender? Are you going to find out?

Monique said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Monique said...

This is a very interesting post, Susan, but I am sorry to hear that it has been painful for you. What a strange thing it is, our societal approach to children...

I think you're wise and very fortunate. Did you know that the term for midwife in French is Wise Woman? I love that, even if it's a smidge off the point here.

By the way, when I am drunk, everyone seems funnier and prettier, and well, just more of whatever they are -- including me, of course!

snason said...

I also apologize if I wasn't enthusiastic enough. But four kids seemed a lot for you guys to handle.
As for me, judging by the three wonderful children you guys have already produced, I know I am going to adore #4.

Sabrina said...

So glad I saw your post Susan!! As you now Kris and I are expecting baby number 4 and most of our responses have been"Oh your still trying for a girl" or"Are you getting fixed after this one". It drives me insane!! Being a work at home Mom myself, and having a husband who between he and I both working make more than enough money to afford all of our children and the extra who always seem to be hanging around it is very frustrating when others assume a fourth child is anything other than a blessing.

Id like to say a HUGE Congratulations and WAHOOOO, So much fun and excitement in store for us.Hormones dont help so be prepared for the naysayers with witty comebacks! I take the make them spit out their gum response and then walk away smiling happy-If you need anything Im only an email or post away!

BTW, when are you due?? We found out we are due January 25th so IM about 8 weeks along

Arsen Darnay said...

My father just happens to have been the seventh child! And without him I mightn't have been and the world so much the poorer (or so I think after the fourth whiskey or so). And my grandmother, on the paternal side, was one of the wisest women I know... So you are getting there, Susan, one by one, and the world becoming a richer place, too...

Patioboater said...

So does this means that, "Keep practicing, you'll get it right one of these times," isn't the right response, either?

(This comment submitted under the "Big Brothers are exempt from all standards of decency" clause.)

Patioboater said...

P.S. Whew, I'm not entirely evil. I just went back and checked and my initial response did indeed include the word "Congratulations".

Gettysburg Mom said...

This was not intended as an indictment of readers. I certainly didn't mean to make my Mom apologize for not responding enthusiastically enough. Egads.

Patioboater said...

In that case I stand proudly by my "Partridge Family Bus" remark!

michael in dc said...

John, I just figured they're trying to have enough to help out on the farm! You ARE going to harvest those rice paddies in the backyard, aren't you, Susan? :)